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Hey, Reader. I used to find it very difficult not to blame myself for things, even if they seemed outside of my control. I've learned that some things, even under our best intentions, just don't go our way. And that's ok. For example, I used to believe being punctual was a badge of honor. "I’m promotable, because I’m on time". Or "I’m a good friend, because I’m always on time". In reality, I just had less things in my way of being on time. When my daughter was a toddler, I would up wake at 5am and still struggle some days to make it on time for work at 8:30am. Sometimes my daughter wasn't quite ready to wake up on time. Or, she would wake up needing more attention than normal. Maybe she took a long time eating her breakfast. She would get a stomach ache on our way out the door. And, on the rare occasions that we left early, we would run into gridlocked traffic. 😒 I remember the stress of those times. These days, I control what I can. I wake up early to prepare for my day. Everything that happens after that is almost completely out of my control. I've learned not to attach my value, or character, to the outcome (arriving at work on time), but to attach it to my intentions (waking up early to allow for the best possibility of me arriving at work on time). Think about a time you've stressed about something. Was the outcome due to your lack of skill/preparation, or was the outcome truly out of your control? As mothers, we sometimes tie our children's behaviors directly to how "good" of a parent we are, and that's not fair. We're teaching our children how to become happy and capable people. They will make mistakes and have their own setbacks, and that's ok. Write down today's affirmation where you can see it often. Say it out loud. "I will not stress about things I cannot control." There is joy in recognizing the things that are out of your control. Tools to help you Reclaim Joy...I appreciate you, Brittany |
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Hey, Reader. Would you rather... 😴 Get 8 uninterrupted hours of sleep every night for a month OR 📋 Have someone else carry the entire mental load for a month? Before you answer too quickly, think about it. Not just the laundry. Not just the dishes. Not just the school drop-offs. I'm talking about the invisible list running through your head all day long: Remembering the dentist appointment Knowing who needs new shoes Planning dinner Tracking the family calendar Refilling the prescription...
Hey, Reader. 7 years of marriage.8 years of motherhood.And about 5 years of intentionally managing the mental load, exhaustion, resentment, and overwhelm through self-care. Not bubble baths.Not spa days.Not “just take a break.” I’m talking about the kind of self-care that keeps you functioning when everyone needs something from you at the same time. The kind that teaches you how to recognize when you’re disappearing beneath the weight of motherhood. Because somewhere along the way, I realized...
Motherhood doesn’t hit every woman the same way. A lot of that starts with pregnancy. In What Self Care Looks Like, I talk about the 3 pregnancy experiences I’ve observed over the years: Living the DreamYou were actively trying to conceive. You felt overjoyed seeing that positive test. You had nursery ideas, support, excitement, and dreams about motherhood long before your baby arrived. Challenge AcceptedThe timing wasn’t ideal, but motherhood was always part of the plan. You adjusted,...